No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
