ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
