No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I need moral support for this bender
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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