So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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