Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my poor anus
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
