you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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