i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
