OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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