turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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