I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
