I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Randomize
