In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
