I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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