An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
