once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
