Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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