You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
