Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We don't watch enough power rangers
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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