there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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