The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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