can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
