I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
