Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
