super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
