the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
