Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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