he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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