go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
