my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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