dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
