Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
