I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize