she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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