We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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