wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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