talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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