hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
