wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
