Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my poor anus
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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