I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
