Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
