Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
