Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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