In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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