Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
