38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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