i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
