The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
sex in a hospital.. check
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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