Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
