I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
