garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
