He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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