told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize