Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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