He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
