i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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