I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
