Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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