Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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