need another drink. this is the easiest way
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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