I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
