Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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