Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
