question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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