ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
