She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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