I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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